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P.H.A.B.

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9009 messages

By 1:18 PM , ,


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Originally uploaded by looseid

My inbox at work is a horrendous pit of corporate vomit. Capacity seems limitless at a digital address (blessing/curse), but there is a limit, nonetheless, to a virtual mailbox, because each message takes up space; and IT constantly reminds me that my mailbox is full.

I have utter fear of deleting anything in my work environment for further fear of being accountable or not being accountable for something that could be cleared up by simply pulling up a piece of evidence from my stockpile of 17k files. The act of looking for a needle in a haystack, should that day of reckoning ever come, pales in comparison to not having a haystack at all. Or so I thought.

Digitally archiving every single move of my career in a high-stress, dog-eat-dog world of let's-cc:-everything-to-everybody-all-the-time corporate culture has created a frenzy in me that I could no longer stomach. This week I decided to swing in the opposite direction and throw it all away.

Since 2006, I've diligently kept every single e-mail message ever sent to me at my job; I only now realized that my efforts were completely pointless. So starting with messages from business partners who were either fired, laid off or quit, to those I don't like, care or dead (only figuratively), I deleted it all. Shift-click+delete. It felt great. 9009 in total.

Not to mention, I have been fed up with my job for some time now, and this year I must take steps to move on. And what I realized was that the more things to which I act as a keeper and steward, the more bound I become to my post. I'm buried under it right now; but, I'm about to claw my way out.

I'm declaring it right here; June 2010 is my deadline to leave. As I begin to chase myself out of my comfort zone, I hope to get a clear vision of where I want my next post to be. By the time all traces of me have been erased, or more accurately all obstacles removed, my time here will be up.

Yes, it seems suicidal to make a public announcement of this sort.

But some birds require peril in order to take flight. Today, I am such a bird.

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1 comments

  1. Big move, Miss K. But I know how you operate and I have no doubts you will fly to new heights. At this point, you must feel pretty fearless, right?! It feels so good!

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