Welcome to our website !

P.H.A.B.

project hot air balloon

David's Star

By 3:55 PM ,


David's Star
Originally uploaded by looseid

He left me and this country to go to Chile. His name was Curt and he was my boyfriend. We were both young.

When I cleaned through a box of fabric last week, this fell out. It's a woven star made of brightly colored yarn. Curt made it for me on some special occasion. He wasn't crafty but he was creative. I also think he was trying to speak my language by making something textile-y. It was a valiant effort and I appreciated it.

It took a second for me to place the gift and memory, but when I did, it was sweet but brief. And without hesitation, it went into the trash pile. I had to be honest. I wasn't going to frame it and I no longer had any emotional connection to it or him. Until recently, it was unthinkable for me to toss anything hand-made, especially something from a lost love, but during the course of this project, I've sharpened my relationship acumen - relationship to others, to things, and to myself - and knew instinctively that I had moved on.

I placed the trash outside of the front door and planned to take it out that evening and went to work.

When I got home, apparently there was some brief weather condition that tossed the garbage bag about the front yard. For the most part the trash was contained but even in the dusking light I could see out of the corner of my eye the bright colors of the yarn on Curt's star laying under a tree. I surveyed the front garden and that item seemed to be the lone escapee from the trash bag. I don't know how it happened because it wasn't the last thing I put in the bag and the bag was tied up. I walked over and picked up the piece. There was a pile of hail that collected on top of it. That's when I decided to properly say goodbye and dedicate this post to the star.

When Curt returned from his South American sojourn after two years, he was completely fluent in Latin Spanish and was going by his middle name, David. It's no coincidence that as you develop in character, your identity shifts. He seemed grown up and focused. This star only has five points, but to me it's the star of David, no longer belonging to Curt.

I haven't belonged to Curt for some time now. And I'm certain I can shine without this star.

You Might Also Like

1 comments

  1. Good story that I'd be unable to forget, Kana.

    ReplyDelete