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two halves and a hole

By 10:51 AM , , ,

Two halves of a whole are never really two equal halves. At least not in the bagel world.
This bagel is a perfect example of one that's been bisected into a proper butter half and cream cheese half.

Observe the right half. It's a slightly well-done half due to its thinly sliced nature. This golden crisp finish is appropriate for buttering, as its surface is sturdy enough to take the rigors of cold butter. And I must stress that cold butter is the only option.

Observe the left half. This is a thicker slice, as one would expect, if one side is thin. Just like siblings, there's only so much resources to go around, so if one guy takes up more attention or food than his brother, one will be fat and confident, the other will be skinny and neurotic. Fortunately for bagels, there's no negative impact on the "lesser" half. But I'm no expert, I'm an only child. Anyway, this thick, under-toasted half is most apt for a cream cheese spread since its surface is more tender and cream cheese is also forgiving.

Finally, the spread order is key. Butter half must be applied immediately out of the toaster for the melt factor. Conversely, the cream cheese must not melt, so its fortunate that this half has an opportunity to cool down while the other's being treated.

The order in which you consume this perfect bagel breakfast is up to you.

Observe perfect halves that make a whole.

Cold butter turns to melted glossy finish atop a crisp golden thin half.


Cold cream cheese with chives remains chilled atop a softer and kinder pale chewy half.


A perfect accompaniment to this delight is an iced Americano. At least that's what I made for myself this Tuesday morning.

I'm absolutely giddy about being chosen as Juror no. 10. I'm being paid NOT to go into work for the next two weeks. I'm dancing around the house thinking about how I could stretch this newly found vocation beyond Sept. 3, projected date of deliberation. I'm so relaxed this morning, I even have time to obsess about my perfect breakfast.

As I waited for jury selection yesterday afternoon, I was writing long-hand in my notebook about my new script. The place was packed, but everybody was silent and the atmosphere was still. It was like being at the library. In fact, it smelled like the library, or a very old T-shirt. Everybody seemed dour or sleepy, with good reason. Last time I was there was in the late 90's and I was carrying around a pager because I was self-employed. I was dismissed due to hardship since I wasn't getting a salary. I'm sure I had a horrible look on my face that day. Not much seems to have changed in the Halls of Justice building this time around, except my attitude and 3GS service.

Anyway, I managed to write like mad in my lined notebook before my name was called.

I often rely on synchronous events to confirm that I'm on the right track, in the flow, in alignment with the Universe, however you want to put it. That's when two or more implausible events or things come together effortlessly. The more far-fetched the pairing, the more compelling that confirmation.

Well, I needed to bring my car into the garage this week because my coolant was leaking, or rather, gushing. This alone would have taken a bit of planning. Try to couple that with a bureaucratic horror like a trial, the pinnacle of unyielding events. The only thing harder to plan is landing a plane in foggy SFO. But yesterday, the sky was abso-fucking-lutely clear, and it all worked out beautifully.

Me: "Hi, can I bring my car in today"
Mech: "Sure."
Me: "I can't come before noon."
Mech: "OK."
Me: "Can I leave it while I'm at the court house."
Mech: "No problem."

The court house was one block away from my garage, my mechanic fixed my car for me to pick up and I didn't even have to look for or pay for parking while in session. Bam bam bam.
It's going to be a very productive two weeks, I can already tell.

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1 comments

  1. "A very productive two weeks" — what a sweet expression I have been longing to hear.

    Enjoy uneven-halves bagels. That's a part of my daily breakfast.

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